Your Brain & Willpower
By: Compubomb @ Mar 24, 2007 @ 3:17 am
I swear, some times I wish I could alter my brain to do what I wanted. I know it in my heart that I
enjoy software and it's the place for me, but my brain tells me, I don't want to do that "right
now". I've written so many apps, I've dedicated a substantial amount of time learning, but I just
can't bring myself back to it. If your wondering what I'm talking about, there was a time when all I
did was live and breath php / web development, it's all I would / could talk about. In my pursuit to
learn more about php, I dove into linux / unix learning as much as I could. But today, generally
speaking, when I digress, believe the reason I learned so much is because I was severely depressed,
and thus put much of my energy into a hobby and learned as much about it at the time I could without
seeking the knowledge via books, but rather through a process of trial and error. I always told
myself that when I had the time, I'd eventually re-pursue the path and start working on more web
apps. I guess you could say that my passion for web development was primarily in content management
systems, which drove me to learn how to work with databases and SQL (Server Query Language).
Now that I have the time, I feel as though I'm looking for something to re-inspire, to
ignite and old passion to learn and get back into software. I wonder what type of person I was when
I was so focused and then it dawned on me that I was a pretty miserable person back then. Granted,
probably a more creative one, a more driven one, but an all out miserable person since all I thought
about was programming. As of late, my passion seems to be more so in politics, but I'm not good at
debate, nor do I come off as an outgoing / personable person. So, I guess only time will tell where
life leads me. There is one thing I do know, that that is my life will lead me to something IT /
technical in nature, and something that I'm passionate about.