Well, not quite, but i did manage to get through my 3rd semester Multivariable Calculus course with an A and my Physics 201 w/ calculus course with a B. So overall I'm pretty happy. Next semester Diff Eq or 4th Semester of Calculus here i come! I also have to take Physics 202 w/ Calculus. Hopefully it will be less difficult than the first semester. Oh, BTW, I'm an avid supporter of Ron Paul.
As I near the end of the semester right around the corner I realize that I've dropped 2 of the 3
courses I originally registered for, a sum total of 12 units, that being: Calculus 3, Physics 201
with calculus and Communications 100(public speaking). Reasons for dropping these 2 courses include
myself not being compatible with style of a certain professor and or his lack of ability to teach
those who don't know; next reason being that possibly from the start of course I have not been able
to get myself to study long enough to struggle through material or the time of day course is given
or lack of sleep or many other sorts of misdiagnosed potential problems. When everything is said and
done, I went from 12 units down to 3 and the more I think about it, the more I think I am dumb;
could it possibly be that this is just a bad semester out of the 3 years that I've been going to
school to relearn all of that which I did not in my primary through high school years. As President
of Princeton University put it "12k system is broken" and I would have to give him props for
acknowledging that fact because I'm a prime example. I know that I'm not a failure because to get to
where I am right now is a prime accomplishment to be rewarded. At this point, all I can do is shrug
it off for another semester and use right now as a means to prepare for the days to come when I will
have to reassess my abilities to work through the courses.
P.S. I think somewhere
in this diatribe it became a bit convoluted. Suffice it to say that it made sense at the time
*smiles*
School is nearly a week away and I'm starting to feel it coming near. Class starts on Jan 23 and
I've only chosen 2 classes thus far to take: Calculus 2 and C# programming. I would have taken
Physics 1 but the course was not available. My break has been rather uneventful; I've done virtually
nothing I thought I was going to do or even wanted to attempt to accomplish. I think that I've
learned that planning does not work for me; I only seem to get work--pertaining to my
programming--accomplished when I least want to. I get bouts of depression or states of melon collie
as though it was trendy. So programming is not always the first thing that is on my mind. These days
I contemplate large life changing events such as getting a drivers license and car, which my father
is paying for un-enthusiastically--I'm enthusiastic about it though. Also I'm looking into prices
for my first possible laptop. Looking into the duo architecture for the laptop, looks pretty nice.
Today is the last day of the potential semester until Sprint 2006 semester begins on I believe January 23. I've finished all of my finals and I'm uncertain as to the results on my chemistry final as to what I scored for my grade for all practical purposes. I scored an 88 percent on my Calculus 1 final which means I'm in good shape to move into Calculus 2; never thought I would reap this day. I woke up this morning freezing down to my bones; technically it was not freezing in my room, but it supposedly was 30F during the coldest part of the night--winder solstice coming soon--and I just didn't want to get up. I was and still so cold that I have on an entire sweat suite plus my bathrobe. I'm somewhat relieved that I don't have school for almost a month.
So, I did reasonably well on my last 2 tests: chemistry, and calculus. Which I did reasonably decent on--seriously. But anyways, I got a 90% on my chem test which was a jaw dropping experience when I saw those 2 pretty digits on the front of that test. Then on the same day I got my chem test back, I took my calculus test and earned myself a 86% which is a staggering leap from 67%, which was the grade I earned previously in my calculus course. Anyways the ironic part to this whole story is that the only reason I believe I did [reasonably] well on these two tests was because I was talking to people and blowing off some tension before the anxiety had a chance to bite me in the ass. Normally, when I tell myself I'm going to do well--you can imagine the outcome--it normally turns into a miserable failure; normally i call this a brain fart. Anyways.. this post is more of a rambling of excitement but also of no true point.
Yes, I go to a community college, which is not such a bad thing. I go to community college not only
for the financial savings benefits, but also due to my poor performance in my highs school
years--sleeping in class was my specialty. Anyways, because of that, my ability to self motivate has
been subjected to a lot of brainwashing as far as procrastination goes. My parents haven't exactly
drilled into my skull that procrastination leads to poor performance in anything, unless your name
is "little man Tate"--like in the movie. Anyways, I'm in school right now and I've had to retake
many of the courses I took in high school and as they say, the third times a charm; I passed them
all without too much effort, I mean, I put effort in, but not like now. So now I'm taking chemistry
101 and Calculus 1. I'm struggling like no tomorrow, in due part because what I didn't mention was
that when I was younger, I did not learn to read--to read well--until I was probably in 6th grade.
My dad spend probably upwards of sixty thousand dollars, I kid you not; they diagnosed me with
dyslexia and supposedly I'm what they call a visual special learner and that I supposedly have a 152
IQ--I'm not trying to brag, this by no means judges a persons true intelligence.
Fast forward say 10 yrs and I'm now in college for my 3rd year, I fail 2 tests, both chemistry and
calculus tests; both on the same day. So I think to myself, what is the ultimate problem I have when
taking tests--anxiety. I talk to several people: my friends, my family, and some professionals;
every one I know thinks it couldn't hurt to look into getting myself some extra time for tests and
to rid myself of the retched 8.5 x 11 inch desk chairs I have to use in my Calculus course. So I
signed up for I believe what they call D.P.S (Disabled Persons Services) or something to that
effect. I talk to a councilor and tell them my sob story and guess what, they give me a consult to
meet up with a professional Psychologist--yippy, not! Remember I said I have major anxiety, they
tell me I'm going to go through a battery of testing just to prove that I have anxiety impairments
and ultimately, dyslexia inhibited learning problems. I almost regret ever doing it just because of
the idea of taking more tests. Ugh! Why do I have to be considered disabled in some way to be given
a get-out-of-jail card to get extra time for a damn test, but then again, I also get to take the
test in an Air-Conditioned room with lovely ergonomic chairs that is incredibly quiet with
ergonomically designed desks to avoid bending my head too much. Yippy, I guess it's worth it.
All I can say is this; I failed my Calculus test, and possibly my chemistry test as well. At this
point I can only blame myself and the true culprit--the professor. My calculus professor doesn't
give us any preconceptions on what he will expect on the test, he just says know everything, period.
My chemistry professor thought, hey, I should give my students a pre-test, make sure they have a
pre-set expectation as to the difficulty, the commonality and variety of problems which will be
placed onto the exam. But my professor decided that he would throw the biggest curveball you could
possibly conceive as far as tests go. But then again, so did my calculus professor. I know, everyone
probably thinks this is my entire fault, but if I make it all my fault, what do I have to look
forward to. I have to place some of this responsibility on some shoulders which are more accustomed
to taking the blame--wink, wink.
On another note, my mental status is like the
humming of the big bang ambience in all radio frequencies. It's just there, and will keep on going
until the end of time--doubt I'll live that long--but you have to admit it's an interesting
possibility. Anyways, failing a test is not the end of the world to me, but I've been ever so
interested in looking into the Community College disabilities Office. Possibly look into seeing how
to get some extra time for tests, possibly even tested for some kind of anxiety issues, not to
mention a fact which never seems to amaze me how present it really is--dyslexia--the curse that I
live with. Why can't I just take a pill and fix this fine-oiled-brain of mine. Bah to all that is
mighty in this world; bullocks to the existence of a being which would allow a disability to impede
upon those who strive to succeed.
Hello, yes, I'm still alive. School is a bit challenging at the moment. Taking Calculus 1 and
Chemistry 101 and C++ level 1 can be somewhat of a difficult load. *smiles* The C++ class is
somewhat fun, but on the flipside is an annoyance, here are some of my assignments so far,
all compile on any g++(GCC) compiler